1 post tagged “my mom”
NOTE:
Does it ever amaze you.. the still small voice that God uses to talk to you? I spent a good part of my morning talking with a close friend of mine. I was explaining to her how the death of my friend's mom, had rocked me to the core, and why. I was telling her that even though my mom's illness is in remition and she is better than she has been for years. I had a very hard time seperating the death of my friend's mom from the immortality of my own mother. I cried soo much as I continued to think, just what I would do if I lost my mother, and how much of who I am stems from who she is, and the lessons and values that she instilled in me.
We have gone through many rough patches in our relationship and at times I remember feeling in anger that I didn't need her or anyone else for that matter. But, the truth of the matter is that despite our ups and downs.. That woman has shaped me and molded me through her actions and words into exactly who I am.
That being said - When I read the article posted below on Daily OM today. I knew that it was God telling me that how I felt was justified, and that those feelings strong and tumultous, were meant to give me a better understanding of life, my mother, and the complexities surrounding our relationship.
Originally posted on Daily OM -
No Wrong Response
Experiences Shape Your Reactions
Our view of the universe is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. Events that arouse strong emotions with us or are surprising in nature can be disquieting, for it often is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.
When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right, nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one person's reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another's. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present.
Life's pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining insight into your distinct mode of interpreting the world. Try to internalize your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today.
